You may have guessed by the above quote that I am inspired by Mother Teresa. I think it goes beyond that. I love her. In fact I almost went to India to work with her sisters after college, but I ended up getting married instead. That was a difficult decision for me to make. Not because I didn't want to get married, but because I had lofty ideas about life as a missionary that didn't fit in with my idea of what married life was going to be. Boy was I wrong, and Mother Teresa would be the first one to tell me to stay here and do what I'm doing. She was a firm believer that we need to be missionaries in our own homes and neighborhoods. She even said "What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family." This is much easier said than done. It is especially difficult to treat those we live with with kindness, sometimes even though they are the ones we love the most. I find it difficult more often than I would like to admit. It is way too easy to fall into a pattern of brusqueness with those you know will forgive you. But what begins in the home travels out into the world. If we receive harsh words in the morning we are more likely to be cross and short with those we meet throughout the day. And from whom do our children first learn to be kind if not from us? I fail at this frequently. I need to remind myself of it on a daily basis. It does not get easier with time either. If anything it gets harder. But I try to remember the words of Mother Teresa and ask for help from the one who inspired her. That's all any of us can do.
Good for you, Miranda, for your honesty, and for your desire to do better in the area of parenting patience. Having 3 kids in 3-1/2 years, I lost my temper far too often, mostly due to exhaustion, and I would love a do-over. My grown-up kids now tease me about my temper; they say I looked like a rhinoceros when I was angry, but thankfully, they also say they had a very happy childhood, because the good far outweighed the bad! Good luck with trying to do better; the best way to achieve more calm is to make time for yourself away from mothering, such as your running, and writing and retreats. If you find ways to recharge your batteries without kids, it will help you enormously with your kids! That expression, "if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" is so very true!
ReplyDeleteThanks. Love the rhino reference. I think of myself more like a T-rex. In fact I wrote a poem about it.
ReplyDeleteMy mother swallowed a dinosaur.
Now all she does is roar and roar.
“Don’t leave your toys all on the floor!”
“And put your clothes back in your drawer!”
I used to think my life a bore,
But now I’m tired, stiff, and sore.
I wish it were the way before,
My mother swallowed a dinosaur.
Another thing I find I greatly need is plenty of sleep and time for prayer. I get very cranky when I'm tired.
True words, Miranda.
ReplyDelete